Day 4 Winnepeg to Saskatoon

Blog day 4

Route: Winnepeg to Saskatoon via Regina - what a long, boring day!

There were many people on the roads, travelling from one place to another. I was surprised to note that, especially at this time of year, we weren't even nearly the only ones towing a u-haul with everything we own within it. We met this woman, with four boys of differing ages in tow, no man in sight, towing an equally enormous u-hual across the country. Only, she was doing it with a Dodge Caravan, something weaker than our monster of a vehicle. I could tell what the story was: the man was gone, and she was pursuing a new life, VERY far away. I've heard that story before. What a strong woman. I asked her how her van was doing with the load, and she said it had just cut out on her. After further investigation, I decided to give her the advice to turn off the AC (very nice in the hot prairies, I know), unplug the car cooler, and turn off the DVD player (probably the only thing keeping those boys from tearing apart the inside of that van enroute). She was incredulous, but hey, do you want to be broken down out in the wheat fields? I'm not nearly the scariest man you could meet out here lady. But maybe I looked scary, my beard was growing, and I was looking more like something that crawled out of the forest. Anyway, can't blame her for caution.

Blog day 3 - Ontario day 3

Blog Day 3

Thunder Bay to Winnepeg

Entering Mars

We woke up to find that we were camping in a Provincial Park built at the sight of one of the great sights of the North: Kakabeca Falls. For a Southern Ontarian, used to the boring Niagra Falls, I must admit, these were pretty impressive. I was able to get pretty close to them too. They were violent and loud, and had many layers and levels, where the water was firing back and forth.

The drive out was nice. We soon found ourselves in still more steep "hilly" country though, but not near as bad as before.

Today we crossed into Manitoba. We were dissappointed, because it pretty much looked just like Ontario, with trees and rolling hills, rivers, and lakes. Then all of the sudden, we passed all that, and we have not seen anything but wheat fields ever since. It was stunning, and very alien for me, all brand new terrain. You could see for miles in every single direction and to my left, all you could see was very dark, very stormy weather off in the distance, sort of heading towards us. I actually saw funnel clowds, and found out this morning, there was some tornados in that thing. So it was sort of chasing us, and we outran it, fleeing dark strom, for the biggest, brightest blue skies I have ever seen. It was hauntingly beautiful.

I think leaving Ontario was a milestone in our journey. As I pursue the Monastic Ideal, that thing the early church fathers sought, like Augustine and his little "monastary" on his parent's farm, and Jerome, fleeing the city for the quite of a more contemplative life. I too feel like I am leaving a place of busy-ness, of distraction, noise (although a bit of it good, in the sense of the voices of my friends and family), and just plain tumult. We are so distracted there from the Spiritual life. Leaving the Media Industry as its own separate discussion, even our philosophies of life become a great distraction from the God relationship: Bigger is better; the strong survive; more popularity means more success; success itself as a priority; the pursuit of financial "stability." According to the Monastic Ideal, these philosophies represent everything that is wrong in the world of man and everything that keeps us from holy communion with a generally quiet God.

I want to pursue in my life those things that really matter. I want to reject, therefore, that philosophy that says these things have a place in the Christian life. The early church fathers sacrificed finacial wealth, promising careers, family, and friends, in order to pursue their faith. What I have seen is that this modern Christianity has told us (me), that money, power, hierarchical church leadership, "success" in terms of numbers - all of these things are a legitamate part of the Covenant Community of Believers. I see two philosophies at conflict with each other. As Jesus says, "you are not to call one another Lord or Rabbi." You are not to be exalted over one another. My questions is this: Has the modern church ignored the spirit of what Jesus is saying here, and set up itself in a way where in essence, we have done that?

This evening we stayed at a couple's house. We didn't know them barely at all. When in the kitchen, making the necessary small talk, I looked over and noticed Brian Mclaren's book: A New Kind of Christian. The ensuing converstion proved to be enchanting, for I soon discovered this woman was another spiritual refugee from the modern church. She was burnt out from doing so many programs at her local church, that she couldn't even bring herself to go there anymore. The gospel of "do, do, do, go, go, go, work, work, work" had done a number on her, and she was finished. Isn't it funny? A woman I met in the Prairies of Manitoba had the same thing in common with countless numbers of young men I worked with back in Toronto.

Blog day 2 - ontario day 2

Blog day 2

Sault Ste. Marie to Thunder Bay

Some bumps on the road.

Who would have known there was mountains here? It certainly didn't scream out at us from the maps. You'd think with the size of the blasted things, there would be some mention. Maybe then we could have realized that, although for a normal small four-cylinder car, such a trip would indeed take 9.5 hours, with a big heavy vehicle towing a big heavy trailer, it will take a little longer. I didn't know they had slopes like that in Ontario. That Jeep does now. And then it poured rain. Barrelling down steep inclines, going blind around corners, like a big-momma with a giant slapping her behind, wacking it back and forth, (that's what the trailer feels like to tow), we went throught the mountains at a snail's pace. The rain reduced us, a few times, to 10 metres visibility. This is terrifying when the road curves around a rock face very high up on a cliff. My nerves were raw, and that beautiful woman beside me started to get on them.

And then we had water in the trailer. But wait - don't panic - it didn't get on anything that it would hurt - except my nerves.

But after the unknown mountains of Northern Ontario, and the 14 degree celsius temperatures up there, the way down was fast and fun. The sun was hot, Melissa decided to try her hand at sticking her head out of the sunroof (she looked like a chia-pet when she came down), it turned out to be a pretty good day. But a long one. We saw wildlife! A bear cub ran across the highway - it really ran, didn't realize those things were so fast. Kind of makes you wonder how you would do agianst one in a forest with a twinky in your hand. It seemed that you would last about 3 minutes. And next I saw the biggest road-kill I have ever seen in my life - a dead moose! We blew by it going 100, and even with the windows done up, it stunk like my brother's hockey bag. Reeked. And then, just when I was getting bitter about only seeing a dead one, we saw some live ones, two of them, chomping through the mush. They sound like T-Rexes when they are running away from you through the forest, though. You can hear them crashing for like 10 minutes.

Blog day 1 friday august 18

Blog day 1 friday august 18

Ontario Part One

Toronto to Sault Ste Marie

You know, I've always wanted to do a big roadtrip. I read Don Miller and his roadtrip book, and it is just so glorified. Leaving everything that ties you down. Going to a new place that will, again in time, tie you down. But it is the space between, the roadtrip, where you are free. Free of responsibility, the chores of routine, monotony and boredom, predictability. You know, the pain of life.

Saying goodbye proved to be a lot of work. People were coming around the clock, bringing gifts and words of encouragement. It is a testament to the strength of God's community that He built around us - one that we sometimes didn't appreciate. I am emotionless when I say goodbye. No tears, no pain in the heart. It is just business, nothing personal. Goodbye. I do love you and it has nothing to do with the emotion I feel when leaving you. It is just time to go, time to create a new community with a new group of people. This is planet earth outside of God's rule. A place of goodbyes, of seperation. But we belong to something much larger.

The vehicle and the trailer worked beautifully. What an amazing machine that Jeep is. It didn't even show signs of tiredness. It took the punishment I gave it - Toronto to Sault Ste Marie non-stop, and didn't even protest.

The tie-downs my Dad and I did have worked beatifully, thus far, and nothing in the trailer has shaken loose or wrecked itself. Here are the specks on our trip.

Trip time: 10.5 hours, with stops
Gas used: approx. $220
Route: Barrie, Parry Sound, Sudbury, Sault Ste Marie.

The trip up was fairly peaceful, nothing uneventful happened. Plenty, however, happened in my thoughts. There was the usual traffic in Barrie, that loosened off the farther up we went. We entered the Muskoka region, and with it a flood of memories of my past three years as a youth pastor. Most of my most significant events happened in the context of Muskoka. Muskoka is a youth pastor's best friend. Goodbye. Past that was Parry Sound, and with that the memory of our High School snow camps - by far the most meaningful events ever. Beyond that, the memories stop, for that is where my life as I have known it stops. I have never been beyond. Until today.

You can notice the change in landscape when leaving Southern Ontario, especially in a vehicle that you can't go above 100km/h in. When the landscape changes, you truly realize how huge Southern Ontario really is, all on it's own. It is a world onto itself, with a look onto itself, and it is chalk full of people. It is a busy, bustling place, full of large cities, towns strung in between like pearls on a string. It has rolling hills, lush fields, streams and ponds. It really reminds one of the scenes of the Shire, in the Lord of the Rings. But Northern Ontario is an entirely different thing. The landscapes get much more wild, pine and granite jagging the horizon, swamps and ponds, rivers and lakes, all leaving you with the sense that if you were to venture into them, you might never find your way out again. The vehicles change from Honda Civics, to Ford Trucks, as a rule, and the people change from hard-nosed, pushy drivers, to light-hearted, talkative wanderers. I truly am in a different world.

Which is something I usually would barely notice, except that this time I have with me, in the passenger seat of the vehicle, the most precious thing I have ever owned (not that I own her). She sits there like a jewel, curled up and sleeping, like the inner core of a precious rock, and her presence here on this trip changes everything for me. I've been on roadtrips before, but always alone, and out there, amidst the strangness, all I have to worry about is me. And I don't usually worry much about me, because I have nearly died so many times now, I really don't try much anymore to stay alive. I just live on borrowed time. But with her here, it is different. My male instincts sharpen and focus. Protect, watch over, be careful. She is little - and pretty. One example is when we pulled into a rest area to gas up, eat up, and basically walk around. It was somewhere in between Sudbury and the Sault, and this truck pulls in with a trailer loaded two stories high with scrap metal. Out from the truck piles five or six of the mangiest, roughest looking group of guys I have never seen. It was like Toronto's Crack shelter on a road-trip. And I noticed the look in a few of their eyes, a look that always reminds me of a past life: The look of a sinister, thinking predator. Someone used to violence and fighting. Glancing around, taking stock of the situation, they finally notice my nice Jeep and full trailer (probably took note that we were uprooted and moving). Then they noticed my little blonde wife. Fortunately, I had sunglasses on, and I was able to stare back, expressionless, communicating strength without the need for confrontation. People hate staring at someone with Sunglasses on. Melissa shuddered and made a comment about one of them.

It was the feeling of having to protect that has changed a lot for me on this trip. All of my decisions are tainted with that motive: where we stay, where we stop, and where we eat. I must protect her. I have no problem giving my life to save her. I just have to make sure that it will do the job.

Spiritually, the journey has begun for me too. Gone, at least for the moment, is that place associated with busyness, Southern Ontario, that community of enormity, and me sitting near the top of it to receive all the phone calls, emails, and attention of others. I know that many people sit at home alone, with no phone ringing and no one coming over. Is it so wrong that I desire a little of that? I am peopled-out right to my inner core. When I turned on my phone last night, 10 hours away from Toronto, in order to check the time, I had 6 new voicemail messages. I won't check any of them until Vancouver. I'm leaving. Like Augustine, stuck preaching in the church in Hippo, all the while longing for the Monastary back on his parent's property, to pray and meditate, I long for it. Away from the busyness, from the hustle of life, I want to finally find God again. The North of Ontario wrapped around me like a blanket. Quiet and alone, my thoughts had space to turn to God. My heart, once again, began to fill with hope. He has a new place for me. And I am going there. Sault Ste. Marie to Thundar Bay, here I come.